he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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