the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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