Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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