How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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