she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
