Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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