There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
