what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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