I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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