***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize