I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
