she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
