I never want to see another naked old woman again.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
