he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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