I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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