if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
