Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
