so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
