I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think im going to throw up on grandma
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
