Kiss
Puke
I need help removing her.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
