Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
