Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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