yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
