Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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