u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
