Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
