I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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