I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
