last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
