I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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