i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
