just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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