Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
