Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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