I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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