found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
