You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
