dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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