I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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