Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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