So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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