I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Come on in and take your pants off
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