her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize