Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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