my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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