my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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