What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize