we have officially lost it.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
