Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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