I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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