Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize