Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
