your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm at about main and main street
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
