Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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