Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
