There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
His nipple licking is glorious
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